Week 9 Rankings

Alright boys with week 8 in the books we’re officially 2/3 of the way done with the regular season. We’re gunna switch it up by doing a little look at the standings and an in depth analysis of each said lineup that you guys call your “squad”. With that being said… lets get into it. 

  1. The Clawwww (6-2) 

Hahahaha i mean are any of us surprised? The clawwww year in and year out rapes the league on draft night and continues the raping through trades and waiver wire pickups. The Clawwww currently leads the league in scoring and has the least points allowed. Don’t think we’ve seen a team this dominant since the 2016 Clawwww. As history tells, when a team is this dominant through 8.. watch out. Trade rape or no trade rape this team is poised to make a run late into playoffs. 

2. Matty Revenge Tour (5-3) 

Even though many people think the revenge tour and the clawwww have beef, this is one of my favorite teams to watch every year. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The Revenge Tour always musters together a respectable, competitive team that you don’t want to see late in the year… unless its in the championship because well… matty can’t finishhhhhh. Gotta say, this is one of the Revenge Tours weaker lineups but you can’t deny the production. Look for this team to continue to rack up wins as his 2nd half schedule is one of the easier schedules. This team needs to make a blockbuster to be considered a real threat. 

3. Baby Shaker Baker (5-3) 

I’m going to stop figuring out how the Baby Shaker’s do it and just embrace that they are a defensive minded teams. Maybe we’re all sleeping on that the Baby Shaker’s play some serious mind games to make sure opponents make some questionable lineup decisions leading into the game. Maybe we’re sleeping on the 12th man effect that the Baby Shaker’s have playing at home. With that being said look for this team to fall down the standings as they have 4 away games in their last 5. This will be a big test for the Baby Shakers and I’m giving them an F. Look for the baby shakers to be competing for a playoff birth late in the year. Even if they get a lower seed i expect them to be bounced early. This team stinks.

***The next 6 teams are all 4-4***

4. AB’s Wild Ride (4-4) 

WOOOOOOOO! What an 8 weeks its been for this team. I’d wait in line for 2 hours to ride this rollercoaster. This team has faced more adversity than coach langella drawing up the best defensive scheme of all time. Think even management would agree when i say this, this is the GROSSEST lineup I’ve seen in a long time and we’ve been playing with Mike for a couple years now. With that being said, this team has no quit and i expect them to win some battles late in the year. I truly don’t know how this team is still afloat but I’m eyeing that 7 seed for them this year as they’re that damn mosquito that just won’t go away. 

5. Julio’s Waffle House (4-4) 

This once joke of a franchise seems to have finally turned the corner after years of rebuilding. The youth is maturing, the coach is on xanex and the GM is uninvolved. Don’t look now but this team is a serious force. I can’t believe I’m saying this but expect this team to finish as a top 3 team and a team that you don’t want to see in the playoffs. The ultimate downfall will be that this team has no real playoff experience and who knows how they’ll perform when the lights shine brightest. This is the first and last compliment i will every give to the Waffle House but i truly tip my cap and can’t wait to see how they mess this one up. 

6. SuttOn My Face (4-4)

In our feel good story of the year, the ice champion   may just be the team of destiny. I can see a 30 for 30 now “The make a wish kid actually won.” We know nothing is given in this league but SuttOn My Face did a lot of soul searching this offseason and they found it. Good thing this league is pro drugs or else this team would be doing oil changes every week. Going forward i expect this team to continue to suffocate faces and find themselves in a middle of the pack playoff spot. 

7. Sammy gave me a Chubb (4-4) 

Don’t really know if mike has read a single one of these or if mike reads a single message in the chat but look to continue receiving horrible trade offers from this dumpster fire. Don’t really have much to say. This team stinks, this team will not be in the playoffs but i really do look forward to seeing mike at the draft next year, love ya bud. 

8. Let me hit your JuJul (4-4) 

Although disappointed with the lack of trophy pictures and shit talking from the reigning champ, this team has fought through the Super Bowl hangover to create an underrated squad. It was looking ugly for the champs but nothing a little light blue gatorade and working juul charger can’t fix. Although this team is on the outside looking in i have 0 doubt they will be in the playoffs. Get your props out because this is my LOCK OF THE YEAR 😉 . Thats it for this team, good roster, good guy running it, some good games in their future. 

9. Straight outta Hopkins (4-4) 

Hahahaha gotta be my favorite organization in the game. This team is all heart and its impossible not to root for them while also rooting for them to fail in the worst way possible. This team reminds me of being a knick fan. You’re gunna support them, you’re gunna believe in them but you can’t help but laugh when they fail miserably. Expect this team to win the next 2 before dropping 3 straight. Week 13 will be fun watching them lose a heartbreak and pray for some teams to lose to help them get in. Look for the clawwww to bench some players week 13 just to sabotage this hilarious organization. Good luck Robbo. 

10. Officer Dickskin (3-5) 

Dickskin never ceases to amaze me with the pure lack of fantasy knowledge. After being in the game for so long and having a banner in the rafters, you’d think this organization would know whats going on. Can’t disrespect a former champ but I can’t help but wonder if they were a one year wonder. It was clear on draft night this team was lost. Wore a bell jersey to draft night, took kamara at 2 and put the sticker under the wrong team. I like to tell myself this organization is still in the hangover phase but i know I’m cancelling my season tickets. Hope somebody collected his league fee already.

11. Mud Monkeys (3-5) 

One of the most interesting teams on this list. 2nd in the league in scoring but can’t get their record to correlate. Did they draft too many boom or bust? Does the GM not know how to manage a team? A bunch of questions I’m excited to see answered as the season progresses. Expect this team to win a bunch of games late and hope for some losses to sneak in. I expect this team to DOMINATE the losers bracket as they are the best losers. Can’t figure out how this team hasn’t made a blockbuster yet. Guess thats why they are where they are. 

12. Hepatitis D (2-6) 

We meet again old friend. 8 weeks in and in dead last. Hepatitis has been here before and can’t help but think they’ll be here again. This roster is filled with too many selfish players who are out there playing for a contract. This team is on the verge of falling apart as rumors swirl around this team as the trade deadline approaches. The one thing i respect for this team for is that there is no lack of fear to pull the trigger on a blockbuster to do whatever it takes to not become the ice boy. Expect this team to look much different in a couple weeks. Hope you figure it out. 

Super Bowl Prediction 

The Clawwww 169.2 vs Julio’s Waffle House 108.3 

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