Leading into week 8, we’re nearly done with 2/3 of the regular season…time for the bottom feeders to start hitting the panic button. As i told you guys last week, I’m a virtual lock with my picks so take everything i say as fact and bet the house on it. My season total now sits at 12-5-1 as i went an impressive 5-1 last week (Thanks Tony).. lets get into it
- Officer Dickskin (3-4) vs Sammy gave me a Chubb (3-4)
Man, this one makes me sad to see. The once powerful simone owners are falling to the wayside at family parties as they are running their organizations into the ground. These once feared franchises are hitting rebuild mode as the stadiums are half full, the fans don’t care and big bob won’t return their text. Maybe if Dickskin knew how to use the waiver wire he wouldn’t have 2 players on IR on his roster or be on a 4 game losing streak. Give me Sammy gave me a Chubb by a million here as dickskin loses an unheard of 5 straight and is kicked to the curb.
2. Mud Monkeys (2-5) vs ABs Wild Ride (4-3)
Get ready for all the stops in this one boys. Double reverses, 88 down pass, flea flickers.. all the tricks will be played here as the Mud Monkeys are in a desperation must win situation. This “sick” team continues to fail to make moves with its roster and keeps putting out the same 2 win roster. Phillip Lindsay is a good leader of this team as the Mud Monkeys remind me of Joe Flaccos broncos, gross. ABs Wild Ride continues to be the most slept on team in the league. A fun little stat before you put in your pick this weekend… ABs WILD RIDE IS LEADING THE LEAGUE IN SCORING. I’m buying the flash pass for this ride, AB by a thousand.
3. SuttOn My Face (3-4) vs Hepatitis D (2-5)
*FORMER ICE BOWL REMATCH*
Although the records don’t show it, these teams looked themselves in the mirror this offseason and saddled up respectable rosters this year. Look for these teams to get hot in last 3rd of the season as they come gunning for Tony’s sacred 7th seed. My brain says SuttOn but my heart says Hepatitis D. Im going Hepatitis here i’m hoping for some pinky rage this weekend.
4. Matty Revenge Tour (5-2) vs Julio’s Waffle House (who cares)
Tbh guys i really got nothing for you here. I’ll let you guys fill in the tony insults here.. its kinda like a mad libs game. Tony is a _____. Tony is the ________. Tony you’re _____ and ______ and you ______ at fantasy football/life. hahahah fuck you tony. And as you all could’ve guessed I’m going with …. Julio’s Waffle House in this one. mush.
5. Baby Shaker Baker (4-3) vs Let me hit your JuJul (4-3)
Baby Shaker Baker will be watching from the sideline this week as the franchise he built has him on the bench. RIP ELI. This baby shaker’s lineup is a joke and i have them as a dark horse ice bowl champion. The baby shakers are dead to me and the curse has been placed. As for the Juul, a turn of events has led this team to a full pack of pods and a green light. This once clowned Super Bowl hangover has figured out the cure as their cheefing their way into back to back championships. Juul by a billion this week.
6. The Clawwww (5-2) vs Straight Outta Hopkins (4-3)
*Sunday Night Flex game* Straight Outta Hopkins has been blowing up the league office to switch this matchup to sunday night so that they can show the nation they’re “legit.” Straight outta hopkins has fans questioning some lineup decisions as OBJ and Robby anderson find themselves benched as Tannehill, Ty Johnson, Goedert and Boyd make the starting lineup. Hopefully Robbo doesn’t tinker and get in his own head here. Big time players make big time plays. I’m taking The Clawwww here in this dress rehearsal of a game. This will be the first and last time Straight Outta Hopkins is on prime time.